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Even as people got over that, a stigma lingered around online dating—that you must be desperate, or weird, to try it.In the early years, online dating carried a whiff of sadness—it was for people who had “failed” at dating in-person.Nearly 4,000 lonely hearts were tricked into handing over £39million to criminals last year, new figures show.Linda Cloke, who runs the Click agency in Maidstone, Kent, said: “One gentleman was exploited by a woman who got him to buy all sorts of things for her, including a £14,000 car.Some thought women who allowed men to buy them dinners or tickets to the movies were “turning tricks.” The reaction to the phenomenon of “going steady” in the 1940s and 50s was less extreme than accusing people of prostitution, but still hand-wringy.Add technology to the mix and you get fear of change, doubled.
They say it is due to scammers duping people into parting with millions of pounds.What’s worse, it can suddenly grip us from time to time in certain contexts, even if it’s not a constant characteristic, which is part of why feelings of neediness can be so scary, difficult and unpredictable to manage.For others of us, it’s a constant worldview, a general desperation and insecurity underlying every interaction.Whitney Wolfe, the founder of the dating app Bumble, said she thinks some companies were promoting that message themselves, through the way they marketed.“In the last decade, [dating sites] marketed to the desperate, to people who were lonely and hopeless,” she said on Wednesday at the Washington Ideas Forum, an event produced by The Aspen Institute and internet.) Later, in the same commercial, a woman says, “I don’t think anybody, no matter how old they are, should ever give up.” Evoking skepticism and giving up may not be the best way to make people excited for a dating service.
Skepticism and fear are typical reactions to technology that changes how people connect.
TORONTO, ON - SEPTEMBER 07: Actors (L-R) Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling attend 'The Place Beyond The Pines' premiere during the 2012 Toronto International Film Festival at Princess of Wales Theatre on September 7, 2012 in Toronto, Canada.